No longer a cyclist?

As I mentioned in my previous post I was desperate to get back on track with my cycling. After failing my target so many times, I have simply lost my motivation and I desperately want it back.

Anyway after Saturdays disastrous ride with my Mum, I knew I was a long way off target, so Sunday would be a challenge. I had 22.5 miles to do!

On Sunday we awoke to find very grim weather; it was wet and miserable with a hell of a wind. This would be tough.


Donned in my winter gear we set off.  As regular readers know, I have often grumbled about having to go uphill pretty much instantly from our door as normally my legs struggle, as they haven't had time to get warmed up. However, usually after the initial strain and after a quick spin on some relatively flat terrain I am good to go. However Sunday was different. The draggy hill out of the village was a killer. My legs could barely keep turning. Grrrr. I could do this! I just had to get my legs warmed up. I'd be OK in a minute.

Arggh.... 3 miles in and still my legs felt like lead. This didn't feel right. I felt like I was back to square one... back when I didn't cycle! 2 more miles and my legs were getting heavier.... every pedal stroke was tough. I wondered if it was due to having my winter boots on. Was the cleat position slightly out. A few adjustments were made. We continued. The position felt better, but my legs were still far from useful. Another cleat adjustment. Even better still - in fact damn perfect but my legs were just EMPTY.  I kept pushing through the pain. My thighs were burning. Damn you legs! I wanted to get back on track. I was determined not to fail and despite the pain I wanted to meet my target this week. For heavens sake, I hadn't ridden properly in ages, my legs should be fresh! I was so frustrated.

Sadly by 10 miles I knew we had to turn back, I just couldn't go anymore and we arrived home freezing cold and soaking wet but with only 13.5 miles on the clock. I was disheartened. That had been the toughest ride (mentally and physically) in a long time. I really felt that I was no longer a cyclist.  All those months of hard work had been for nothing, I'd let things slip and they'd slid all the way back to the start.

I know I was being hard on myself, but I was so frustrated.

Anyway, on the final leg of the journey, i'd decided that I would get on the trainer and do the last 9 miles in the comfort of our dining room.  Mad, I know, but I am a stubborn fool and I wanted to meet my soddin' target.  So out came the turbo. In fact out came two turbos (Mikey had acquired a free one a few months back) and dressed in our matching VeloCake kit we pedalled side by side for 45 mins in the dining room. I say pedalled, I pedalled and me laddo "trained" at a rather faster rate than myself, but non-the-less it was entertaining, I'm just glad there was no-one there to see us. I managed to do my 9 miles and meet my weekly target, but it wasn't easy.  I really had to push myself to keep my legs moving, when all I wanted to do was collapse on the sofa, but when I finished I was a happy lassie.

So that was it, I had finally got my motivation back. I didn't want to be a non-cyclist. I was going to cycle myself fit again. ;-)

The trouble is my body had other ideas. Hours after our return, my nose started to run and I became very bunged up. I had a flippin' cold. No wonder that I had struggled on the bike. I was harbouring an infection. All that pressure I'd put myself under. All that guilt I had been feeling. It's no wonder my body was feeling weak. Stinkin' cold!

It's been ages since I've had a cold, especially one this bad.... bloody typical too as I was due my Flu jab today but no instead, I have been tucked up in bed for the last two days. Ah well, on the bright side, I've had a few days off work. ;-)

I just hope that I am well enough to do my mileage at the weekend, even if it's on the turbo. But if i'm not, I wont be too hard on myself... sometimes things are just out of my control. ;-)